It’s the end of yet another day, a productive and happy day but as I sit here quietly contemplating I can feel tears rolling down my face one more time, tears of sadness and despair so I sit and wonder if my spiritual journey is becoming too much for me to bare….I ask myself ‘Why me, Why Now’, ‘What do I have to do?…..
Our spiritual journeys are all very different and our aims, needs and destinations are all very different too! In my case, I have no idea as to why I have been chosen to follow a spiritual journey; but all I know is, I must follow the path and help as many people as I can along the way.
My days and nights are often full of sadness, trying to juggle family life, business life, friendships and relationships at home and abroad whilst also trying to follow a spiritual pathway to an end we often still don’t understand. I have always been a soft hearted man, easy going as many might say, always putting the needs of friends, employees and business relationships before thinking of; or, caring for myself, never putting anyone down, smiling as often as possible and trying to keep a cheerful, sunny, caring disposition as much as possible, and certainly not intentionally doing anything to hurt or harm anyone or anything as I go. However, what I don’t understand is ‘why do our friends treat us differently as we grow spiritually? It’s like they no longer trust us, or think were doing something underhand, untoward or against them! They become distant and off-hand with us for no reason! Maybe its just me overthinking things too much or maybe it’s their lack of understanding or nervousness of where we may be headed…I honestly don’t know why they change, but I do know it’s upsetting and it breaks my heart! When we honestly ask ourselves which person or people in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those friends who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our journey, help us through the spiritual growing pains we are going through and touch our battle wounds with a gentle and tender supporting hand. The friend’s who we care for dearly who can be silent when the time is right and also offer words of wisdom and support to us in our moments of frustration, despair, lack of energy or general spiritual confusion, friends who can stay with us in our hours of need, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is in my opinion a friend who cares.
I still don’t know where I’m heading but I know I’m on the right pathway, I keep checking my direction at each and every kink and curve in the road, and look for clarity along the way. I don’t possess to be anything special, I’m just a simple man who needs to follow his destiny and love and help people along the way.
So my dear friends please, please be open and honest with each other because friendship is precious and love is needed by all, not just the few!