Learning to stay afloat is often very challenging for some and a constant battle for many. Learning to cope with the ebb and flow of life, the challenges we face each and every day comes somewhat easier for some than for others.
But for me, I understand that whatever life has in store for me, I can and I will ride that wave, like the champion surfer catching their ‘Point Break’ wave, I will get through any storm that life’s weather system sends to me 🙂
What is also important is bailing out the water from your vessel! As with any slowly sinking boat; water enters and eventually sinks the boat due to the weight it has added to that boat. So, therefore, it is the same with your physical body, taking on too much, allowing it to be flooded with constant showers of pain, anxiety, depression, the weight of demanding relationships, troubles and pressures from family, so called friends and work….Don’t allow your vessel to be weighed down to the pint of sinking from and by the weight others give to you! Stop being that trash yard, the go-to place for others to dump their negativity, their troubles, their workload! …Stand up for yourself, sit high in the waters of your life, sail YOUR journey of life and allow your sails to take you to your full potential within this lifetime 🙂
Achieving ‘Inner Peace’…What!, with all I have going on in my life, what with work, the kids, extra hours trying to learn new things, taking the kids to gym, dance, swimming lessons, looking after the dog, cat and goldfish, ego talking constantly to me to do better, work faster, loose weight etc…Chance would be a fine thing!……Does this or some of it resonate with you?
Well, if it does; then you can achieve ‘Inner Peace’ but you have to make the effort to achieve it, it wont just happen overnight. You need to set yourself up to learn, you need to dedicate time each and every day to meditate, if only for a few minutes…’No excuses, don’t put it off until tomorrow, because as you well know, ‘Tomorrow, never comes‘!
When I first started meditation, i found it hard, i always felt as though I was doing something wrong, everyone i knew or met that meditated looked so calm, they all said how they could go into a deep, calm and reflective space where they connected with themselves, this may be in a garden, or by the ocean, on a mountain top, in a fantasy playground, floating on a cloud etc but for me all I could get was thoughts springing into my mind, thoughts about work, my vacation, children, what i needed to do later that day, i could hear the children, the phone, car horns blaring… but no inner peace. I could not feel the calmness that all my friends were experiencing…So I thought, ‘maybe there is something wrong with me’, or do they really experience that or are they just saying that to make me feel inadequate, perhaps they are also experiencing what I am but don’t really want to tell me! 🙂 Well, I stuck at it, at first for 5 minutes a day, then i tried 5 minutes twice per day, then after a few days i realised i was becoming more calm so i extended to 10 minutes, then twice per day and on and on it went, now I can easily achieve 1 or more hours and these sessions flash by like they were only minutes, i go into a deep quiet place but I am always aware, i can hear all that is going on around me, i feel the touch of the dogs wagging tail, the sounds are still there but now i can control them, i label my thoughts as ‘Thoughts’ and sounds as ‘sounds’ and i welcome connections from my heart, my soul and anyone else that wants to connect with me….I have over time started to achieve inner peace, it is a place of joy, of smiles, of reflection, a place where i can connect to my self, where i can spend quality time with myself, where i can feel my body, be aware of my health and all that ails me and concentrate for once on ‘Me’
Meditation is available to everyone, young or old, rich or poor and it costs you nothing, only time….and in my humble opinion…’Time well spent’ 🙂
A dear Chinese friend of mine asked me to explain ‘Energy’ to another Chinese friend last night…..’Wow’ ! I thought, how do I explain that one’ in one easy sentence 😦
I was slightly lucky because just at that moment these two lovely Chinese ladies were being harassed a little by a foreigner who was a little drunk, very loud, argumentative, highly non-empathetic and downright arrogant…I therefore had the perfect way to explain ‘Energy’ to this young lady who is going through some severe relationship problems at the moment. She had come out for the evening to meet with her friend in order to gain some help and hopefully some advice regarding her problems. I was just a bystander being asked to help, so here is what I said to this young lady…
‘Energy’, is something that some of us can feel but others cannot! You called your friend and asked her to meet you this evening in order for her to listen to your relationship troubles and hopefully help you with her advice, you called her because you trust her, she is quietly spoken, friendly and she listens to you, she will not judge you and she will hold your hand and be there for you, her ‘Energy’ is calm and you feel comfortable sharing these intimate problems with her, right? She nodded and said yes, I feel she can really help me :)…
I then turned to this foreigner and said to her, he is the opposite of your friend, you turn your back to him, your shoulders are rounded away from him, your head is down and you try to be as far away from him as possible, he is loud, he is aggressive, he is pushy towards you, he invades your personal space and only thinks of himself, you feel insecure and threatened by him, right? She nodded and said yes!…
His energy is bad, it is dark, it is forceful and he wants to control you, can you see the difference?…She immediately nodded her head and said yes with a smile, I said this is ‘Energy’… 🙂 and the difference between positive (happy) and negative (dark, threatening)
From that moment on, she opened up to her friend and to me and we were able to connect to her problems, the arrogant guy got the message and left us alone and at the end of the evening she went home feeling happier and carried with her a little love and positive energy from us both 🙂
Remember my friends, ‘the darkness cannot prevail if you turn on the light’ 🙂
I have read and also written many posts regarding ‘Letting Go’, letting go of the past, breaking free from the chains that bind you down and hold you back from enjoying your life and reaching your full potential. These chains, shackles from the past can be of different sorts, they can be relationships, family, work based, life experiences, traumatic events, abuse etc but in the end they are all the same in their effect on your life. Never a day goes by without your mind relating to these past events or experiences, or thinking about ways in which you can change the past, re-connect with the person who grieves you, wishing they would be loving towards you, these experiences conjure up many awful thoughts and bad memories in your mind, they take over your life and effect everything you try to do. For the majority of us we push on with our lives and hope we will feel better, we try to mend the past through the things we try to do in the ‘now’ and also plan things for the future that we hope will take away the pain and make amends for these past experiences which have had so much of a negative effect on our life.
I too have had my own fair share of burdens in this life time, and I’m sure many others in previous lives too, I try to think positively most of the time (highlight on ‘most’ 🙂 ) but those nagging memories just come back time and time again, they continue to bring our morale down and control our lives in the ‘Now’….
So,…’Now’ is the time to take a real stance, it’s time to let go once and for all, to break the chains that shackle us down, that tie our wings to our bodies and restrict our flight.
We need to smile at the experience, the memory, at a picture of the person or re-connect to the past event and say goodbye, to wish them well and give thanks for the good things we now have in our lives, for all the love we have ‘right now’ and for all the love that is waiting for us on the other side of this experience, we need to break free from these chains, spread our wings and ‘FLY’ move on to pastures green, to a new life of positive possibilities, to live our lives as they should be lived without the burden and weight of these past events…’Now’ is where we should and need to be, always ‘Now’
If you are struggling with the past and need any help breaking free of these chains that hold you back, please reach out and I will be there for you, my sword at the ready breaking those chains that tie your wings my friends…
We come into this world, innocent, non defined, happy and open to all influences, good or bad…..Laughing generally gets knocked out of us during our childhood until we reach adulthood with a very serious demeanour and outlook on the rest of our life….But, if you are one of the lucky ones that continues to laugh, who carries a smile on your face then good luck to you and remember to share this happiness with others because smiling and laughter are infectious….
Spread the joy mu friends…Laugh out loud and SMILE 🙂
Go on, you know you want one…Reach out, close your eyes and feel the warmth of my hug, my arms around you, comforting you. It comes to you with my love and best wishes for a wonderful day filled with happiness, joy and peace wherever you are in this world 🙂
Touching base with your heart and your soul, easy?…… No!….Achievable?…Yes! 🙂
Our lives are so full of madness…time, the clock, rushing here, rushing there, eating while watching tv, reading the news, checking and responding to emails….working, parenting, relationships,’…their up’s and down’s…children and our fear for their future, challenges at work, career prospects, learning, financial difficulties….Is it all doom and gloom?….Only if you let it be!
I too have been a victim of all these things, my life has been filled with education, doing better, achieving more, working hard, working harder, working more hours, doing more of everything, wanting more of everything, buying for the sake of buying, mounting debt problems, children, the worries of being a parent, relationship challenges, divorce, grieving for the loss of loved ones, changing careers, re-educating myself, starting again, fighting to survive, living on the breadline, finding new love, emerging from the flames, being born again, awakening to the realities of life, becoming aware of what is important in life, caring from the heart, wanting to see change in our world, fighting for change, being frustrated that I cannot do enough, or make change happen overnight…an on; and on the cycle goes….So now what?…Where am I and what does the future hold?
Should I give up, should I buckle down and follow the pack, work every hour god sends, chase the dreams of others, or follow my heart, live in the ‘now’, do as ‘I’; my soul, my higher self wants?….
A dilemma felt by many….., choices…which way to go?…
The choice is yours, either be controlled or be in control….
I choose life, I choose to live in the now, to work in ‘Mindfulness’ of the other sometimes more important things in my life, for my family, for our future, for humanity, for our environment, for Mother Earth, for others less fortunate than I, I choose to serve for the betterment of my self, for my soul. My heart is now free, free to choose which way to go, I listen to my heart, I trust my intuition, I listen with Empathy to others with the intent to understand, and I place my feet firmly down on my own spiritual pathway, the journey which leads me through life with a smile; not a burden of weight placed upon my shoulders by others who want to control my destiny.
Be ‘Mindful’ my dear friends, live your life according to your own destiny, allow yourself the luxury right to enjoy your life to the full, take time out for yourself, connect with your heart and soul through meditation, free your mind from the distractions of modern life, see life as it really is and start enjoying each and every day to the full, see the blueness of the sky or if your sky is grey; see the blueness of the sky up above the clouds, watch the sun rise and set, see the smiles of the children around you , reconnect with your inner child, smile, always smile and breathe….just breathe 🙂
Living in China and having a long personal history of martial arts, Chinese history, culture and my own spiritual practice embedded in China for the past fifty years, has; over the years made me very interested in Daoism/Taoism, Lao Tzu/ Lao Zi, the Dao De Jing/Tao Te Ching, I Ching..there are so many ways they are represented globally 🙂 The difference between Daojia 道家 , Taoist Philosophy and Daojiao 道教, Daoist Religion brings even more confusion to the western world let alone understanding the I Ching (The Book of Change), the oracle of fortune, a guide to success and a dispensary of wisdom. The ancestor of all Chinese philosophy, it is the primary source for the pragmatic mysticism of the Tao Te Ching, the rational humanism of Confucius, and the analytic strategy of Sun Tzu’s Art of War and of course the wonderful Yin 酓 Yang 昜 in traditional Chinese and Yin阴Yang 阳 in modern simplified Chinese.
Yin is the black side with the white dot in it, and yang is the white side with the black dot in it. The relationship between yin and yang is often described in terms of sunlight playing over a mountain and a valley. Yin (literally the ‘shady place’ or ‘north slope’) is the dark area occluded by the mountain’s bulk, while yang (literally the ‘sunny place’ or ‘south slope’) is the brightly lit portion. As the sun moves across the sky, yin and yang gradually trade places with each other, revealing what was obscured and obscuring what was revealed.
Yin is characterised as slow, soft, yielding, diffuse, cold, wet, and passive; and is associated with water, earth, the moon, femininity , and nighttime.
Yang, by contrast, is fast, hard, solid, focused, hot, dry, and aggressive; and is associated with fire, sky, the sun, masculinity and daytime.
Yin and yang applies to the human body. In traditional Chinese medicine good health is directly related to the balance between yin and yang qualities within oneself.If yin and yang become unbalanced, one of the qualities is considered deficient or has vacuity.
Anyways, I could go on forever trying to explain Yin Yang, The Dao/Tao so I thought I would share with you this very short cartoon animated Ted Talk video explaining Yin Yang, I hope you enjoy it and that it will inspire you to learn more about Daoism 🙂
Getting to understand yourself, is an art form that many never achieve in their lifetime, many people believe they know who they are but actually they don’t have the slightest clue!
How often do you shut your self away from the world, and by shutting away I don’t mean going to the top of the Himalaya’s and sitting in a cave by yourself for ten years 🙂 What i mean is; do you switch off from the world each day, do you set yourself time each day to have no interruptions, in a room with just you, no tv, no radio, no newspapers, books, magazines, no phone, no computer,no electronics, no people, no children, nothing to disturb your time with yourself?
It’s not easy at first, setting aside time in what you probably believe is already a fully scheduled day, getting up, shower, breakfast, dressing for school, work or getting yourself and or your children ready for your day, attending back to back meetings, dropping the kids to school, picking them up, taking them to after school activities, checking homework, making dinner, eating dinner, bathing and dressing the children, putting them to bed, watching tv, reading a book, getting yourself ready for bed…etc, etc, the list is endless, or so we all believe!
We just don’t have any time in our lives for ourself!
It’s your life, you can make choices re your life, you are the master of your schedule and you, only you can make the time! After all, it’s certainly in your own best interest to make time for yourself, your body needs this time, your mind needs this time and your heart certainly needs this time! So why is it we are so bad at setting time for ourselves?….Well, we feel guilty, that’s why! We feel that we are being self indulgent by setting ‘valuable’ time aside just for ourselves,…..Bullsh*t (sorry for the bad language my dear friends)……., take it from me…STOP IT, NOW!, Set up time each and every day to give yourself quality time on your own, start small, it can be 10 minutes per day at first, try this for a few days then increase your time slowly to 15, 20,30 minutes, or even better 45 minutes or an hour, but make sure you set your schedule, set your time, your phone whatever to remind you to go and enjoy time with yourself, don’t give up on yourself, keep the commitment to this time each and every day and I guarantee you will start to know yourself so much better than you do right now, you will have no external influences, just you, your time is your own for you, only you and your meditation, reflections on who you are, where your life is right now and where you want to be, this quality time will enhance your levels of understanding for others, you will be more empathetic towards yourself and to others, your life will benefit from the quality time you give yourself…TRUST ME… give it a try, if you need help, I’m here to help you, if you need help with meditations, just let me know and i will send you some to help you along the way, but please, please my friends…get in touch with yourself and start to enjoy the rest of this life 🙂
Fear of failure, fear of loosing face, the fear of rejection, fear of the unknown, the fear of success….Whatever fears you face in your life it’s now time for you to face them.
There are literally millions of labels we can place on words and call them fears, as in the image above, the list is endless and different fears attack each and every one of us, and we react to these fears in different ways.
Every time we turn our backs on a fear and try to fight it, it becomes a pointless exercise and waste of our time, because fighting our fears places us in a ‘battle’ with that fear forever, whilst facing these fears will give us ‘freedom’ forever.
Our minds play tricks on us all the time, ‘the devil in our head’, ‘our sub conscious mind’, our Ego’s’ constantly chatter to us laying doubts on our ability to achieve, playing reference to things that have gone wrong in the past, and nagging us to stop right there and give up!…”Don’t be stupid, you know you will fail”, “It’s no point you doing that because no one will listen to you”, “Ah, they are just begging because they are too lazy to work so don’t give them your money”, “It’s not your problem, don’t get involved or it will end in tears, “Leave your job, are you stupid”, “Your not smart enough or worthy enough to do or go somewhere”……..How many of you have had these thoughts go through your head?
Strategies for Overcoming Fear
Acknowledge the fear. Whether it’s imagined or real, the first step in overcoming fear is to admit that it exists. We all have fears; it’s human nature. Denying or ignoring them doesn’t make them go away.
Analyze it. Where does it come from? Is it real or imagined? Can it be put in a different context? For instance if you think it through to its logical conclusion, what’s the worst that can happen to you? Once you’ve determined what that might be, ask yourself if you can deal with, or overcome it. More often than not, once you go through the process of analyzing it, the fear isn’t as scary as you originally imagined.
Face it. Allow yourself to feel it, and then do it anyway. Act in spite of your fear and treat is as a challenge for personal growth and an opportunity to become stronger.
Be persistent. Do the thing you fear over and over again. By doing it repeatedly it loses its power over you and you become less vulnerable to it.
Develop courage. Sometimes the answer may not be to conquer a particular fear; it may be to develop courage. If you focus too much on any one fear instead of trying to build courage, you may in fact, intensify it. By developing courage you build self-confidence and resilience. You also build a healthy approach towards facing all fear.
Our fears of failure can limit us and keep us from living the life we want to. When we inevitably experience rejection or disappointment, we have to be hardy in our way of coping with these struggles. Overcoming our critical inner voice can be a vital step in becoming more emotionally resilient. We can learn skills to become hardier, and we can face challenges with fewer internal setbacks. Yet, the first step in taking on this new confidence is shedding the baggage of our past, the critical inner voices that falsely feed our fears of failure.
If you have chance look at a child, an elderly person or someone who is really poor, observe their behaviours and take note of how they live their lives.