Loneliness

All posts tagged Loneliness

Loneliness

Published 26/06/2015 by inspiringyourspirit

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Sometimes I just sit alone and think, often thinking too much about my life, the people around me, my family, my friends, my work colleagues, spending too much time overthinking and allowing my ego mind to have it’s way with me!

Our days are filled with wasted time, hour after hour our mind ticks over, relentlessly sending us it’s opinions based upon our thoughts on the things we see, hear and fell, judging this and judging that, telling us to hate this person, stay away from that person, beware and fear this or that and holding us back from living our lives to the full.

Somedays our hearts are totally controlled by our mind, we feel lost and alone, its like something is missing from our heart, like a lost loved one, something is missing and causing us pain, we become tearful, agitated, anxious and sometimes so down that we just don’t want to get up or go out, the feeling is so strong that it controls our very being and stops us from moving forward with our lives.

Loneliness and the lack of love for ourselves feeds our ego mind, it fuels its fire and allows damaging thoughts to be generated at a rapid speed, negativity reigns supreme when the ego mind is at play, controlling our very being.

When your feeling down and lonely, its hard to pick yourself up when the ego mind is holding you down , twisting your mind with its negativity, pumping your body full of non-productive, suppressing ideas as to how you should live your life, it’s in total control…but how do we break free from the clutches of our ego mind?

Well, in my case, meditation is the key, it brings me peace and allows me to break free of the chains that my ego mind has wrapped around my soul, meditation takes me to a place of peace, to a solitude of silence where I can connect with my soul, with my Divine Self and where I can take back my life from the clutches of this egotistic mind that is at play with me.

If you suffer from any form of loneliness, unhappiness, anxiety in your life then please try meditation, seek out someone to help you, to guide you in the early stages of your practice……feel free once again and regain your happiness, then start living your life of joy 🙂

Namaste with Love

Always

Mark

Do You Feel Lonely Some Days? Loneliness: a silent plague that is hurting young people most

Published 23/07/2014 by inspiringyourspirit

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Loneliness: a silent plague that is hurting young people most

For young Britons, loneliness is an epidemic – and they are even more likely to fall victim to its insidious dangers than the elderly.
Loneliness has finally become a hot topic – last month, the Office for National Statistics found Britain to be the loneliness capital of Europe. We’re less likely to have strong friendships or know our neighbours than residents anywhere else in the EU, and a relatively high proportion of us have no one to rely on in a crisis. Meanwhile, earlier this year, research by Professor John Cacioppo at the University of Chicago found loneliness to be twice as bad for older people’s health as obesity and almost as great a cause of death as poverty.

But shocking as this is, such studies overlook the loneliness epidemic among younger adults. In 2010 the Mental Health Foundation found loneliness to be a greater concern among young people than the elderly. The 18 to 34-year-olds surveyed were more likely to feel lonely often, to worry about feeling alone and to feel depressed because of loneliness than the over-55s.

“Loneliness is a recognised problem among the elderly – there are day centres and charities to help them,” says Sam Challis, an information manager at the mental health charity Mind, “but when young people reach 21 they’re too old for youth services.” This is problematic because of the close relationship between loneliness and mental health – it is linked to increased stress, depression, paranoia, anxiety, addiction, cognitive decline and is a known factor in suicide. In a new essay, Paul Farmer, the chief executive of Mind, and Jenny Edwards, the chief executive of the Mental Health Foundation, say it can be both a cause and effect of mental health problems.

But what can young people do to combat loneliness? Dr Grant Blank, a survey research fellow at the Oxford Internet Institute, points out that social media and the internet can be a boon and a problem. They are beneficial when they enable us to communicate with distant loved ones, but not when they replace face-to-face contact. “People present an idealised version of themselves online and we expect to have social lives like those portrayed in the media,” says Challis. Comparing friends’ seemingly perfect lives with ours can lead us to withdraw socially.

While meditation techniques such as mindfulness and apps such as Headspace are trendy solutions frequently recommended for a range of mental health problems, they’re not necessarily helpful for loneliness, as they actively encourage us to dwell alone on our thoughts. “You’d be better off addressing the underlying causes of being lonely first – what’s stopping you going out and seeing people?” asks Challis.

Indeed, a study of social media at the University of Michigan last year found that while Facebook reduces life satisfaction, using technology to help you meet new people can be beneficial. And if for whatever reason you are unable to venture outside, the internet can bring solace. Mumsnet has been “an absolute godsend” for Maddy Matthews, 19, a student with a two-month-old daughter. Since the birth, she rarely sees her university friends and her partner works most evenings. “In the first few days, I was up late at night feeding her and I was worried I was doing something wrong. Being able to post on Mumsnet has helped me feel less alone”.

Helplines can also reduce loneliness, at least in the short term. One in four men who call the Samaritans mention loneliness or isolation, and Get Connected is a free confidential helpline for young people, where they can seek help with emotional and mental health issues often linked to loneliness. There are also support services on websites such as Mind’s that can remind you you’re not alone.

At work, it can be beneficial to tell your employer how you’re feeling. John Binns, a Mind trustee and former Deloitte partner who advises businesses on mental health and wellbeing, was admitted to hospital for stress-related depression in 2007 and took two months off work. He felt as if there was no one to talk to and wasn’t close enough with colleagues for them to notice change in his behaviour. Greater openness with his employer and colleagues made his return to work easier. “Often people find that colleagues are more supportive than they’d expected. Mine started to reach out, asking me to lunch and reassuring me that the world hadn’t moved on that much since I’d left.”

Office chitchat may seem like a waste of time, but it helps to cushion us from the emotional and psychological effects of work strain. “If you form connections with your team, you might be stressed, but not isolated,” says Rick Hughes, the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s (BACP) lead adviser for workplace.

“We treat the networks we have as incidental, but they’re fundamental to our wellbeing,” says Nicky Forsythe, a psychotherapist and the founder of Talk for Health, a social enterprise that trains people to give and receive peer support in groups. “The most important thing is to have a regular time and place to reflect on your life and to have an empathic listener.”

For developing personal skills such as empathy, counselling can help. “A problem aired is a problem shared and sometimes you need to talk to someone impartial and independent of your friends and family,” says Hughes. Most universities offer students such counselling and many run group sessions that specifically address loneliness.

If recent research is to be believed, loneliness is killing the elderly and, with an ageing population, we should aim to reduce our isolation before it is too late. “Getting older doesn’t have to mean getting lonelier,” says Ruth Sutherland, the chief executive of Relate, in a new report. “But much of this rests on laying the foundations to good-quality relationships earlier in life.”

Article written by Natalie Gil
The Guardian, Sunday 20 July 2014 16.00 BST

So What can we do to combat loneliness when it enters our lives?

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This is a very important thing to remember, we don’t need to worry about what other people think about us, all that matters is what we think about ourselves!

We are driven to believe that all in the world is rosy, that money and things bring us happiness and if you are rich and famous your life is full of friends and therefore happiness, however reality tells us that this is simply not true! Happiness starts within, so please don’t fool yourself and keep looking outside for that miracle cure to your unhappiness, start by going inside, meditate and connect with your inner self, get to know and love yourself, be happy and grateful for what you are, who you are and what you have in your life right now. Once you have done this you will raise your own levels of self-esteem and energy automatically, you will feel better in your own skin and you will start living your life in happiness and that happiness will raise the happiness of others you come into contact with and their happiness will increase your happiness and the circle of life continues.

So; my dear friends, don’t allow loneliness to control your life, stand up to it, fight it off with all your strength, look at the little things in your life that bring a smile to your face and use those moments of joy to bring further joy to your heart.

If you would like any help, I’m always here for you, if you need someone to talk to, I’m always here for you. If you would like a chat via Skype, I’m always here for you and remember; we are never alone unless we allow ourselves to be alone!

Namaste with Love
Always
Mark

Feeling Lost and Alone

Published 16/06/2014 by inspiringyourspirit

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Feeling Lost and Alone

Some days my heart is lost, lost in its own special world

Wandering about in its own state of emptiness

The feeling of loss like a deep abyss

As tears well up in my eyes, my heart misses a beat

My body not in control, my emotions running wild

My mind conjuring up many things; sad but true, the magician of my life

The skin on my face is weighted by bad experience

And my brow takes the strain of the world

I sit alone with memories of old flashing through my mind

Children playing, happiness and joy, my family, my loved ones, my life perfection

Then the arguments, the rage, the tears, the pain and the disappointments of life

Forever etched deeply in my mind

The need to break free from this torment, so difficult to do, broken hearts and minds are left behind

Cutting the chains that anchored me to so much pain, the abuse, the humiliation

The tears of sadness, the screams of rage, still echo in my heart

Each day I remember, each day I cry, and each day I wish the pain will end

People move on and change their lives, hiding their guilt and passing the blame

My heart knows the truth, my soul to bear; my memories forever remain

But as each day dawns, a new start, a new life, a chance to break free, forever

So from behind the mask a tear falls but outside a smile is free

My prayers are for life, for love, for happiness and compassion for all

No one to blame only me

The pain for a reason, bringing me understanding and experience to my heart

Meditation for the mind taking me closer to understanding…..me

As the tears of mother earth wash the pebbles in a stream since the dawn of time

So to do my tears, cleansing my soul, washing away my pain

Step by step, day by day

Getting stronger, living life, breaking free

Holding out a hand in kindness, brings kindness in return

A smile begets a smile

Love brings love

Today is a new day, my heart beating a new love of life and for me

Namaste with Love

Always

Mark

Are you to busy Dad?

Published 25/04/2013 by inspiringyourspirit

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A conversation between a young boy and his father

SON: “Daddy, may I ask you a question?”
DAD: “Yeah sure, what is it?”
SON: “Daddy, how much do you make an hour?”
DAD: “That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?”
SON: “I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?”
DAD: “If you must know, I make $100 an hour.”
SON: “Oh! (With his head down).
SON: “Daddy, may I please borrow $50?”
The father was furious.
DAD: “If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior.”

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.

DAD: “Are you asleep, son?”

SON: “No daddy, I’m awake”.
DAD: “I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $50 you asked for.”

The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
SON: “Oh, thank you daddy!”
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

DAD: “Why do you want more money if you already have some?”

SON: “Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do.

“Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.”
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It’s just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $100 worth of your time with someone you love? If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family and friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.

Some things are just more important!

 

Namaste

Mark

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